chiming in late here guys, but here's my 2c.
as unrealistic as phase lanes are, i can see why they would be seen as a necessary game concept. without them, you can get from any place to any other place on the map with no chance of interference. it completely removes all concept of terrain and front lines, chokepoints, etc. i know some have said there should be no chokepoints in space, but think about it. imagine playing starcraft (or any other game) where the enemy can get into your weakest base at any point in the game; you can be effectively outflanked no matter what you do. it would be really frustrating because you would have to be constantly moving your fleets around for defence, building up massive planetary defenses to protect your resource gathering; that would encourage an overly defensive, turtling style of play. sure it would be more "realistic", if you can call a gameplay mechanism based on a technology we haven't even discovered (hyperspace) "realistic". it would also be more realistic if the games would take several years to play (which is what would probably happen if people have to spend all their money on defense

the only real alternatives i can think of restrict your movement in other ways. one is to allow people to build jump blockers in arbitrary space, preventing other players from jumping into their back lines. which would be interesting for sure, but do we really want this to turn into a wall building game? with a game of this scale, they're trying to AVOID micro. another alternative imho would be to change the jump blockers to have a range greater than that of the grav wells - so any ship jumping by would be prevented from moving past the blocker until it was destroyed, but this would depend highly on where the planets were placed, and would be totally useless if you realism-monkeys (

) got orbiting planets.
the most viable alternative imho would be this:
a) reduce number of planets per system to something more realistic (1-10), and increase the number of systems

allow construction at the stars somehow (maybe don't tie construction ship to planets)
c) keep the mechanic that you can only jump from system to system by going star to star (ie, you can't jump from a planet in system A to a planet in system B, only from star A to star

d) allow arbitrary jumps within the system (no phase lanes)
effectively this would allow terrain/chokepoints in combination with arbitrary movement. you would block people from jumping directly to your resource planets by building jump blockers at the stars, but once they got into your system, you could expect attack from any side.
thoughts?