I'm going to take up this discussion with a few examples of how most groups play a "do as I say, not as I do" game with issues of race, religion, sexuality and gender... These are all instances that I was either involved in or watched first-hand while I was in college:
1) Racism...
Several years back, there was a massive demonstration in the Student Union building on campus to protest the administration's percieved failure to adhere to the diversity goals set forth in several policy papers. I say percieved because the students weren't able to properly articulate their argument short of demanding the university hire more black faculty and institute a new black studies department (ignoring the fact that it's hard to attract black professors to our area because it's 98% white... they don't want to come here, and I can understand that, would you want to be a white, male, PhD living in Harlem? Probably not). This was right at the end of the semester and I was walking through the building to get a snack before going to a review session. At the time they were rallying to march on the administration building, and while I was passing through the building, a black student asked me if I was going along. I told him no, I was just here to get some food before a review session. He responded by calling me a "racists cracker-ass redneck" and started ranting a bit about how I'm no better than the administration for forcing out minorities. Now keep in mind that I support minorities, I think in some cases they DO get a raw deal still, and I certainly do not harbor grudges against entire ethnicities, but for a moment there, that man made me feel a hatred for what he stood for. If you want racial equality, do NOT attack any other racial group... It is NOT ok to fire off white jokes and then become enraged when they fire black jokes back... you are no better than those you are railing against. It was then that I realized just why so many minority interest groups get ignored in this country... they fight racism with racism and then can not grasp why they aren't getting anywhere.
2) Feminism -
This one comes from an ex girlfriend of mine... she isn't an extreme feminist but still a fairly strong one... One day we were in the kitchen fixing dinner, we had been firing barbs back and forth at each other and were laughing and having a generally good time... she fired off some man joke, so I fired back a woman joke (something to the effect of a woman's place is in the kitchen)... I said this while smiling and laughing, my tone entirely joking... I turned my back for a moment to get something out of the fridge and she kidney-punched me... rather hard. This is the same girl who also got mad at me if I held a door for her, or offered to pay for a meal. The same girl who often lamented the fact THAT THERE WERE NO GENTLEMEN LEFT IN THE WORLD.... That chivalry seemed to be dead, and how she wished men treated women better in relationships. How if a man ever hit her, she'd be out of there in a flash... but it's perfectly alright for her to sucker punch me when I'm not looking because I gave as good as I got in a joke sparing match (she to this day does not understand why that one pissed me off).
Feminists (either extreme or part-timers)... you can have it one way or another... we can either treat you as a true equal, which means you get all the special consideration any of our GUY friends get (i.e. none really, we're pretty cruel to each other most of the time... but all in good fun... I mean we'll periodically beat the snot out of each other for no better reason other than we're bored and one of us happens to be smallest), or we can treat you as a different gender (which... *gasp* YOU ARE) and give you special considerations... like being a gentleman, opening doors, doing little things to show we care, not because you are incapable to do so yourself, but because it's a way we can show our affection. Any given male does NOT embody all that is wrong in society causing the hardships of women... I am not the reason you can not advance as far as you'd like in your career, hell, I'm not even part of the management structure that would deal with you, and my opening the door is NOT me forcing you into a socio-political role that is demeaning... I'm just passing through the door first and holding it open to be nice...
3) Homosexuality, God and the Freedom of Speech
This is perhaps one of my favorites, it has to do with the student republican group on campus and the homosexual/bisexual student group. The two are constantly at war around the time of gay pride week... it's very funny really. The student republicans tear down pride posters and hassle pride events and try to get them shut down saying it's against God, it's shameful, immoral, wrong etc. Those participating in pride events claim freedom of speech, religion, assembly etc and tell the republicans to go screw themselves effectively. They say it's a witch hunt and it's wrong (which I agree, it is). But at the same time they apply the same treatement right back at the conservatives. Every time there's any hint of impropriety involving members of the student republicans, these guys go nuts, and since the school newspaper is liberal run, it gets plastered all over the place. Private parties become public knowledge and what was said in private is considered as grounds for expulsion from the University... they protest and write angry letters whenever there's any hint of anything celebrating heterosexuality... they tear down conservative fliers and hassle events trying to get them shut down, saying that it's all a form of "Hate Speech" and it's shameful, immoral, wrong etc.
4) Jihad bad... Crusade good?
Visiting any number of public student forums around the time things were heating up post 9/11 and pre Iraq Part 2 I was treated to an amusing bit of hipocracy on both sides of the issue. You had the reports of al Queda (sp?) calling for Jihad against the evil west. Some student groups were very much in favor of Islamic retaliation against western influences. This outraged another large portion of students... who amusingly made cries like "Kill all Arabs!" No one seemed to recognize the irony in any of that... and most still don't. Jihad is bad because it is a holy war... but we hate Islam because it's a bad religion and therefore we ourselves must Crusade against it. Crusades and Jihad are the same thing, just different names used to attempt to take "God" as an excuse to kill off anyone you don't like and doesn't follow your particular faith. "Kill All Americans" is horrible, savage, unreasonable... but "Kill all Arabs" is so much better? Same thing works in reverse... neither side has any clue that they are acting just as bad as their "enemies" I've heard so many times that Islam is a religion predicated on violence and is evil and calls for the destruction of western ideals... From their view point, Christianity is exactly the same, only targeting them.
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The long and short of it all is that every group thinks they're the ones getting short-changed, that they must fight the uphill battle against all that is wrong and unjust in the world. Women, minorities, homosexuals, people of different faiths... and yes, even middle class white men. We all want to think that things are hard in life becuase we got the raw deal, that we're the victims of an unfair society that has stacked the deck against us. In some cases and in some places that may still be true, but by and large (at least in the US) you only get shit if you bring shit on yourself. If you consider yourself an oppressed minority... do NOT flaunt it, do not start spouting angry words, because I can guarantee that you will INCITE hatred by your actions. Most people don't give a rats ass what your sexuality, religion or favorite brand of toothpaste are. Parading, rioting, stuffing it in someone's face is going to first make them uncomfortable, because honestly we all feel a bit uncomfortable with things we do not necessarily understand... and second they're going to get mad, because when these acts occur, it's almost always conducted in an accusatory way against whoever isn't in the protesting group (the mentality that since you're not IN the protect or whatever, that you must be one of those who OPPOSE their cause).
The fact is... life is hard, people are different, you are not going to agree with what everyone else does. This is not due to some horrible social construct that is keeping you down, it is a fact of life and nature. We are different for a very good reason, be it influenced by climate or local culture, we all bring something different to the table. We all need to realize that there are some things that each group is better at (I'm sorry, but women you're built to have babies, and you're built to take care of them afterwards as is dictated by your biology... not to absolve men of any responsibility, but I'm tired of women railing against raising children saying it's just one more social construct to keep them down) than any others.
Be happy with who you are, do not begrudge others for what they are... they did not force you to be black, white, asian, homosexual, heterosexual, roman catholic, islamic, male or female... that's all just luck of the draw and can't be blamed on anyone
