was fixed with 1.05. I know this is a forum for technical PROBLEMS, but, since i posted something like a dozen bitchy forum posts about how it didnt work, i figured the least i could do is make one happy one now that it does.
so, thank you Ironclad and Stardock, i have just finished my first non-crashing, non-desynching multiplayer game of sins (i lost), but i am extremely happy the game is working and hope to play and enjoy a few games, whenever i have 3 hours to spare

if you were experiencing multiplayer desynchs, if you havent done so already (dont see why you wouldnt have but...) do try 1.05, it fixed the problem for me.