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He's Dead

By Tova7 on July 21, 2008 7:29:15 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Tova7

Join Date 09/2005
+134

My cousin just called.

At about 6pm tonight, death finally called.

My Uncle Mike died of acute renal failure.

I went and spent the night with him Saturday.  It was the last time I saw him.

I'll miss him, and maybe some day I will write a blog about him.  As per usual I'm good, fine, great.  Things take about 2-3 days to sink in this thick head.  heh.

The funeral will be later this week.

Hubby's rotator cuff surgery went ok today...kind of hard to tell with all the bandages.

What is he going to wear to the funeral?  He will want to wear blues, but the sling, the bandages, I dunno.

So a big thank-you to all the well wishes and prayers over the last few weeks.  You guys rock.

18 Replies
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Reply #1
RoyLevosh
Join Date 08/2007
+105
July 21, 2008 7:50:47 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
We have a saying when this happens to someone in that condition in our family, Tova: we wouldn't want them back the way they were. So I say the same thing to you and hope it helps to bring a little peace.

Take care.
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Reply #2
Tova7
Join Date 09/2005
+134
July 21, 2008 8:48:28 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

Tova: we wouldn't want them back the way they were.

Amen to that Roy.

Thanks.

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Reply #3
MarcieMoo
Join Date 07/2004
+10
July 21, 2008 9:15:12 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

I so sorry for your loss, Tova.  I'm *SO* glad you got to spend some time with him.  Know that you and  your family will be in my prayers.

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Reply #4
dynamaso
Join Date 09/2004
+69
July 21, 2008 9:56:43 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

I too am pleased you got to spend some time with him.  My thoughts are with you and yours and you have my condolences.

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Reply #5
KellyW0498
Join Date 01/2004
+123
July 21, 2008 10:36:11 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

Tova, I am sorry for your family's loss. I never know the right words to say. I know death  is really hard for the ones left behind.  The time you spent with him is a treasure though. I hope he is better off where he is now.  You are in my thoughts though.

 

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Reply #6
Big Fat Daddy
Join Date 12/2006
+105
July 22, 2008 12:07:45 AM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
Our thoughts are with you. What can I say? So many have already said all the good stuff, and you are smart enough to have all that figured out, anyway. Just know that you are cared for and cared about.
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Reply #7
momijiki
Join Date 01/2004
+52
July 22, 2008 3:44:35 AM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

Sorry to hear about your loss.  He must have been a pretty tough nut. I really enjoyed the blogs you wrote about him.  He sounded like a good guy.

Hope your husband's shoulder heals up nicely.

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Reply #8
foreverserenity
Join Date 06/2004
+76
July 22, 2008 11:40:49 AM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

((((Tova)))))..prayerfully thinking of you and family.

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Reply #9
KFC Kickin For Christ
Join Date 11/2005
+94
July 22, 2008 12:34:07 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

My condolences T.  No words can ever adequately expresss.........

((((((((((((((((T))))))))))))))

 

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Reply #10
Moderateman
Join Date 11/2004
+46
July 22, 2008 12:34:09 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

((((((((((((tova}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

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Reply #11
Dr Guy
Join Date 09/2004
+125
July 22, 2008 5:08:50 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
From your blogs on him, it sounds like he lived life the way he wanted until the end. No one can ask for more.

Take care of the living, for the real loss is with them now that he is without pain.

God Bless you Tova.
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Reply #12
Ravenblack
Join Date 07/2004
+7
July 23, 2008 9:15:04 AM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
Condolences, Tova.
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Reply #13
Tova7
Join Date 09/2005
+134
July 23, 2008 12:13:08 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
Thank you all.

Service and burial is tomorrow.

He didn't want an open casket but said me, his wife, son, and grandson can come up to view him real quick before the service starts.

I am writing up a little something and putting it in an envelope to tuck into the casket.

You guys rock. I really do appreciate the kindness.
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Reply #14
Tova7
Join Date 09/2005
+134
July 24, 2008 9:21:13 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
Just got back home....

It was horrible.

The service was ok, the technical aspects went off pretty much without a hitch.

The sorrow though. Can't touch it. I hated seeing people I care about so torn up with grief. That, to me, was harder than the actual death.

Some things I want to remember, note to self kinda stuff.

1. What do I do now about my dad? We aren't close, and yet when I imagine him in a casket like that, well, it grieves me. Seriously grieves me.

2. I know where I stand in the big scheme of "family" now. I always kinda knew before, but nothing like a funeral to make it crystal clear.

3. Life really is short, I need to focus on my family, making my kids lives more, more everything on the family/responsibility/time together spectrum.

4. Thank you Lora. For coming, for standing with me. I will never forget it hoebag. You are my girl, and I love ya.

5. People from southern Ky give gifts instead of flowers. I like the idea. My aunt received chimes and flowers. And my uncle's DIL received some sterling silver pieces. Other gifts can include quilts, crystal, digital picture frames etc. Instead of flowers, which are thrown on the ground or die after a few days, these gifts last forever.

Whew I'm tired.

RIP Uncle Mike.

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Reply #15
InBloom
Join Date 10/2004
+29
July 24, 2008 10:00:34 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
I am sorry about your loss, but I am glad you were there with your uncle during his last days.

I have never heard of the gift-instead-of-flowers idea. I like it, too.

My thoughts are with you.
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Reply #16
KellyW0498
Join Date 01/2004
+123
July 24, 2008 11:30:53 PM from Stardock Forums Stardock Forums

(((Tova)))

What a draining experience the funeral can be. On one hand you need it on the hand, who needs it?

It does give life perspective though. I wish I could give you a real hug, but I hope the parenthesis one will do.

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Reply #17
Adventure-Dude
Join Date 07/2004
+40
August 1, 2008 12:13:40 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
My condolences.
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Reply #18
Tova7
Join Date 09/2005
+134
August 1, 2008 10:51:19 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums
My condolences.


Thank you AD. I appreciate it.   

When you feel able, would you please give me a call? There are a few matters I'd like to talk to you about...(thyroid tests, families and funerals, and jesus, not necessarily in that order.)


Sure, I just saw this today...Friday...I will try to call you this weekend...we are doing a canoe trip/picnic thing tomorrow..so either late Sat or on Sunday.

Hope everything is ok with you and yours....
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