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I need a pirate joke

By onomastikon on November 18, 2011 1:18:30 PM from Elemental Forums Elemental Forums

onomastikon

Join Date 02/2006
+17

My son is 6. I told him a pirate joke and he wants more. But I don't have any more. I googled "pirate joke" and got garbage. Can anyone help me out? Obviously, it needs to be something that is neither totally gruesome nor totally raunchy, and it should be funny, and it should be understandable to a person who is not socialized in the US (e.g. not based on puns involving commercials or US-consumer goods, which all of the sh*t I found via google is; we live in Germany).

Thanks in advance!

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Reply #1
RickJP
Join Date 11/2007
+450
November 18, 2011 1:34:10 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

try here piratejokes

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Reply #2
DrJBHL
Join Date 04/2002
+2050
November 18, 2011 2:09:58 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums
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Reply #3
Wizard1956
Join Date 01/2008
+1851
November 18, 2011 2:20:30 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

Good finds, guys!

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Reply #4
Grizzyloins
Join Date 09/2010
+7
November 18, 2011 2:35:24 PM from Elemental Forums Elemental Forums

Just about all I know are raunchy, but worse things are said now on normall tv here in U.S. so:

 

The deck swaber goes up to the bartender & bets him 50 silver that he can p*ss from where he's at into a jar in the far corner without spilling a drop, the bartender takes the bet, the deck swaber lets it go soakin everything.  The bartender burst into laughter & says 'you completly missed the jar, pay up'.  The swaber pays up & starts laughing immediatly, the bartender confused asks him why he's so happy, he just lost 50 silver.  The swaber replies 'yes, but I just bet the captian 5 gold I could p*ss all over you, your bar, & everything in it, & you would not only not be mad but would be happy about it'.

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Reply #5
onomastikon
Join Date 02/2006
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November 18, 2011 4:08:52 PM from Elemental Forums Elemental Forums

Hey thanks much! To be honest, I had already perused those sites, and none of the jokes on them meet my criteria. My guess is that if you have read those, and if you found any of them humorous, and if you have been socialized in the US, that you might not be able to comprehend that a six-year-old who has not spent his life watching American television cannot understand them. Thanks much for your time and effort however!

 

EDIT: No, the Olivekids site I did not see yet! There were some cute ones there, thank you!!

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Reply #6
Wizard1956
Join Date 01/2008
+1851
November 18, 2011 4:37:54 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

 Doc comes through again. Take two jokes and call him in the morning, lol.

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Reply #7
IROKONESS
Join Date 04/2007
+609
November 18, 2011 4:50:01 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

It's a tough crowed.    I get no respect, I was drowning, the lifeguard swam up to me and said "hey, keep it down over here...   no respect.

I'm all right now but, last week I was in rough shape. I told my wife we need a home improvement loan. She gave me $1000. To move out.

My wife told me to come over. I did. There was nobody home. 

I told the bartender to make me a Zombie. He said God beat him to it. 

No respect at all.

 

Did I just pirate his jokes?

 

 

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Reply #8
Uvah
Join Date 05/2006
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November 18, 2011 7:11:02 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

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Reply #9
gmc2
Join Date 11/2003
+262
November 18, 2011 11:31:26 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

well, we got one but he's ours and you can't have him.

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Reply #10
AceMatrix
Join Date 01/2010
+153
November 18, 2011 11:47:39 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

@ IROKONESS --     !!!!

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