There's suicide, and then there's suicide...sometimes you are technically "suicide" but in reality there are 2 or 3 suicide players in a row and thus there is no guarantee that any of them will be truly doubled...in these situations it would be silly to write off your HW since if you are being doubled, then some enemy is leaving their HW open to one of your frontliners....
If you are true suicide though (as in both people surrounding you are frontliners and neither are suicide themselves) it depends on your faction and if your team has an eco (you may technically have an eco player but if they are noob then essentially you are on your own)...
If you are Vasari, always try to hold your HW...the Orky can take on pretty much anything short of bombers and ogrovs...phasic trap can take care of the bombers, and corvettes can take care of both...
If you are Advent, you are in a better position than TEC because your hangars can give shields to structures....additionally, your SB can field more SC if necessary and you always have the option of putting culture on the SB...in general I'd say try to hold your ground...fleet fleet fleet with disciples and wait to see who is doubling you and if you have eco before SBing....
If you are TEC, you are in very bad spot...high repair from your repair bays is nice but that's about all you have going for you...if I'm TEC and I'm suicide, I am far more likely to consider relocating than when playing as the other 2 races...like Advent, fleet fleet fleet before plopping an SB....
Generally your best fleet is the standard LF spam in beginning, mixing in corvettes as necessary to deal with LRFs, bombers, and/or ogrovs (the things that tend to be used to counter SBs)....as Vasari, you probably can just go straight to corvettes if you spam Orkies on your HW, roid, and moon....
Overall I'd say it is always better if you can hold your HW...I usually don't even attempt to keep my colony cap at my HW, immediately sending it to map center to grab roids, moons, or head into friendly territory....the thing is, if you are keeping 2 people busy (or at least 1) with your HW fleet, then you are preventing them from developing a strong eco...more importantly, you are forcing them to adopt fleet upgrades which hurts their eco even more...sucking up feed from your eco is far better than letting the other team get 2 ecos.....
Case in point, I was once suicide and was sandwhiched between 2 of the skilled Chinese players...Slackah fed me early and hard, allowing me to keep my HW almost the entire game....I had a very large fleet with mixed composition, a full Transcencia with 20 SC, and multiple frigate factories and culture centers protected by hangar shield bestowal....it took 2 players with large fleets, titans, wail, and a lvl 6 marza to finally break me...because I held my ground, the other team never developed the proper eco to take on our team late game....I was able to get all my labs from roids/moons at the center of map and even as able to get an Eradica...when I finally did lose my HW, I had high level prog, mid-level eradica, and their frontliners were already falling due to lack of eco support...