Be the observer, observing the person sitting until she can come to terms with what she is feeling.

Dharma, you make a lot of sense. It’s by facing our feelings face on, openly and honestly, that we are able to advance spiritually and grow. As long as we hide from our painful feelings, or dodge them, then our attention will usually get caught up with other negative things, like addiction to drugs, or drink, or serial relationships etc. – anything to keep our attention away from our painful feelings. But as you so rightly said, those feelings will still be there, and will have to be dealt with at sometime.

To deal with them with wisdom and maturity will enable us to overcome our pain quicker. But I suppose the catch-22 here is that many of us don’t have wisdom or maturity in the first place. All of life is a question of experience and growth anyway, I’m sure. It is true that it’s easier to become angry than it is to experience the pain that lies beneath. But as Buddhism teaches – and all our religions, ultimately - underneath our finite human emotions lies a Ground of infinite peace, security and love. (This is what I was trying to describe the other night, when I said “trust what lies beneath”.)

I believe that to seek it and rest within it is what it means to “take refuge in the Buddha.” I think it would benefit many Westerners to see the common ground in all religions, and to adopt more Eastern practices in their daily routines or mindsets. I believe that the road to mastery lies in looking inward, finding the source of our insecurities, and learning to heal them. We shouldn’t be afraid of pain, because not only is it natural, it's also necessary for growth to occur.

I think this blog goes hand in hand with your other one – to “let go”, and to liberate our minds. That’s the quickest way to healing, in my view. It’s liberating to be able to trust a God of unconditional love, or to trust the Buddha from your point of view, (it’s all the same to me.)

I’m sure you’ve heard the Buddhist sutra about the lotus flower, which actually represents the Dharma. The lotus flower typically grows in the mud and mire. Yet when it blossoms, it rises above the grime and naturally exhibits the most noble and beautiful flower.

Buddhism is fantastic. It's up there with Christianity in my view.

The lotus flower typically grows in the mud and mire.

I've just re-read that, and hope it didn't get misinterpreted. I was talking about the nature of life, rather than you Dharma. I'm too sensitive for these chat rooms, you know. I think I might have to find another hobby that I'm more comfortable with.

God bless, I think I need to take a break from this stuff,

Love Andy x

The more I look into the void, the more I enjoy simply being. Having said this, it is a very difficult state of mind to accomplish because...

As long as we hide from our painful feelings, or dodge them, then our attention will usually get caught up with other negative things, like addiction to drugs, or drink, or serial relationships etc. – anything to keep our attention away from our painful feelings

We are such emotional creatures, dictated to by the emotional actions of others and our own emotional reactions.

You can always email me if you want to talk about this some more

Thanks so much for that, Dharma. That would be nice. No doubt I'll email you sometime,

Andy

We are such emotional creatures, dictated to by the emotional actions of others and our own emotional reactions

Dynamaso, since I saw that comment I've had stuff swilling around in my head, which I need to express.

Your point is true, but it's only true as long as we’re spiritually asleep. Once we awaken to the Spirit, (which is what it really means to be “born again of the Spirit”), we learn that we are not robots conditioned by our external environments, or by other people’s opinions. Instead, we learn Who We Really Are. We learn that we are the most magnificent, the most remarkable, and the most splendid beings God ever created - on par with everyone else. In the Kingdom, we find the inner freedom to respond wisely to external conditions and to other people’s opinions. We no longer need to be buffeted around by the world’s fallibilities, or by the opinions or weaknesses of other people.

We don’t have to surrender our emotion life over to hands of other people, fallible and weak as they are. Rather, we can surrender it to God, infallible and all-loving as He is. As a practical example of this principle, consider the inspirational words from Victor Frankl, a survivor of Auschwitz prison camp in Nazi Germany, who personally faced 'hell on earth' first hand:

“Often it is just such an exceptionally difficult external situation which gives man the opportunity to grow spiritually beyond himself. … ... To be sure, a human being is a finite thing, and his freedom is restricted. It is not freedom from conditions, but it is freedom to take stand toward the conditions. … Even the helpless victim of a hopeless situation, facing a fate he cannot change, may rise above himself, may grow beyond himself, and by doing so change himself. He may turn a personal tragedy into a triumph.”

Whatever situation we're in, it’s within our potential to be completely free and liberated. I love the film 'The Shawshank Redemption', which is an expression of this principle. There's a scene in the prison in which the main character is sent to isolation (‘the hole’) for a number of weeks. When he comes out of isolation and sits with his mates to eat, they are amazed to see that he's managed to keep his high spirits and his feet on the ground. When they ask how he does it, he says to them "There are places in the world that aren't made of stone. There's something inside that they can't get to. Something they can't touch. Something that's yours."

Significantly, the tagline for that movie is, "Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free.”

You will be one with yourself again, in other words, whole, wholesome.

I hope so....that's what I'm working towards.

Your point is true, but it's only true as long as we’re spiritually asleep. Once we awaken to the Spirit, (which is what it really means to be “born again of the Spirit”), we learn that we are not robots conditioned by our external environments, or by other people’s opinions. Instead, we learn Who We Really Are.

Thank you! That's why I find so much solace in buddhism; it allows me to discover and explore who I really am. It's self-reflection and discipline.....it's just wonderful.

On other days, it seems that Christianity is, but I believe that Buddha and Christ are One anyway - as are we all. (Jesus says this in John chapter 17, incidentally.)

Thich Nhat Hahn wrote a couple of books about the Buddha and Christ....http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1573225681/qid=1111071058/sr=2-2/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_2/103-2000539-6962219

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1573228303/qid=1111071058/sr=2-3/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_3/103-2000539-6962219

The similarities between the 2 faiths are greater than the differences....I wish that more people could see that!

I realised that it's that side of the spiritual life which most Christians lack. I think that serenity, love and understanding should come before dogma, rules and regulations, rather than the other way round.

That's exactly how I feel too. I think that a lot of people get so caught up in the dogma and rules that they lose sight of the overall message....I know that when i was practicing Christianity I was guilty of doing just that. I literally couldn't see the wood for the trees, if you know what I mean.

One of the best pastors I ever knew had a collection of Thich Nhat Hanh's works right alongside his Christian reading material.