The more I learn, the more I feel as though I know absolutely nothing. I kid you not, I feel like I have the brain of a 4 year old. It's not so much lack of intelligence as it is lack of knowledge and experience. I don't memorize well, which doesn't help me out a bit here. There's so much in this world to see. I've done nothing with my life so far, or so it feels like. If I could know 1/100 of everything there is to know, I would be the smartest person in the world, dare I say. I don't know how many bones are in my body, I don't know how many different chords there are in music. I don't know what Genisis 6:36 says. I have no idea exactly what Socrates thought about. I don't even know all the capitals of the states. I have no idea all the movies Sandra Bullock plays in. I'm not sure how far Venus and Pluto are apart. Goodness sakes, I don't even understand why I feel the way I feel most of the time. I want to learn, I want to know, I want to be a walking, talking dictionary... but it's useless. I want to be more than a blonde who has fun; there must be more than that. No matter how much I try none of it sticks, and even if it did I would still know nothing compared to all there is to know. I know my worth is not dependent on my wits or knowledge or even intelligence for that matter, but still I can't stop thinking about how my life would be different if only I knew... if only I knew so much more than I do know. How much can the brain handle, how much could I take if I could take it all? I just want to be bright, to be intelligent, to be knowledgeable. Maybe the first step in becoming these things is realizing that I'm not any of them.
