Ah yes, I have been meaning to get to this post lol.
Sorry but this is a very poor review, there are issues but these are not them. You should have played the game a bit more.
== There's far to little you can do with your planets.
True.
== The galactic map is a mess. Path's make no sense and it's near impossible to get your barings, 2d would have been much better.
Wrong. It's fairly simple to navigate and it is only kind of confusing when you start a new map, new galaxy - as it kind of should be. After about 10 turns, you start getting accustomed to it.
== battle are to small, you can only command 3 battleships and a pair of, near useless, destroyers at the same time and only after quite a significant ammount of research AND a command ship.
Really? Are you sure? You're describing the very last part of tech tree, where you have dreadnoughts, yes? That'snot 95% of the game, and even at that point you can have something like 40 destroyers, or 12 cruisers or 4 dreads with backup cruisers. Plus that's only the first wave, there are more

, and the entire logistical side of fleets. Refinery ships, repair and salvage, miners, jamming and radar and command and about 5 other varieties of pieces of fleets that are relevant. Not to mention that if you're lucky to have some unique tech trees, this can change a lot of things. Including a massive cloaked destroyer torpedo fleet, alongside a dreadnaught, there's more at work here.
== strategic map makeup is very unbalanced. It's not uncommon to have only few colonisable planets your you, while the enemy can have dozens.
Wrong. The requirements are race based anyway, has nothing to do with player or ai. There is a reason why you're limited, and it's part of the gameplay and playing skill. Hint, you know the biology tech tree? Research it.
== defences are far to strong. One medium defence station can take 3 cruisers, while being cheaper both in initial construction AND maintenance. *
I really dont know what you're talking about here. A Medium defence station is a cruiser, with 1/3 or 1/4 the weapons. If you are losing 3 cruisers to one, you're doing something very wrong. I've always found defences to be so easy, 1 on 1 (aka, small defense platforms vs. destroyers or medium defense platforms vs. cruisers) that I let the battles auto-resolve. It's only an issue when there are enemy fleets snooping around

.
== Realtime battles are to slow, and you barely have controll over your ships.
== Massive rush for the big ships, juggernaut issues
Research better engines to move faster. And you have perfect control, learn to use some of the automated options and integrate them into a strategy.
== can't overhaul your ships, you need to scrap them and build new ones
== no veterancy, who cares about preserving your ships, or transporting them. Scrapping them and building new ones is often faster.
Actually, that's probably the worst thing you could do. Do you understand economics? You have to pay for those new ships, and if you have enough money to float new fleets and still have enough of them to defend and expand, you're doing something wrong. I wouldnt be surprised if this is part of the reason why you're having so much trouble overall. It's not always about having the latest weapons, and that thinking will usually result in your ass being kicked before you get to cruisers heh.
* You can usually build three or four when a fleet is spotted. It's unlikely an enemy can blow them all with in a set time, so the battle is a draw. after the draw, build three more and the planets is untakeable. Without any battletimer, the inability to send in more then a handfull of ships makes overwhelming the defences impossible.
Like I noted above, you're doing something wrong. Learn the game better, create better ship designs. As the platforms rotate around a planet, you can usually deal with 1 medium and 1 small platform at a time. You have at least 5-7 cruisers with a cruiser sized command ship, so... what is the issue? You have 6 ships with 2x or 3x the hp/armour and 4-5x the weapons on each.
Maybe you're having problems with the missiles they shoot? That's the only thing I can think of... A full 10 med and 10 small platforms + the planet, can shoot a lot of missiles in a volley every few seconds, this is true. You may lose a few ships even trying to approach the planet, this is simply realistic, but you know there is a point-defence system to place on your ships, right? If you lay out the PD on the top and bottom of your hull, you're pretty much invincible to missiles coming from platforms and planets. Also, if you see large volleys, you may want to halt your fleet so your turrets can fire more accurately.
Regardless, I'm no SOTS fanboy or anything. I just dont like reviews like this about any game. If you are going to review something, make sure you've actually played it and understand how it works and how to win. I've seen things like this for Supreme Commander a plenty, and it's often new players who know little to nothing and complain about difficulty and bad mechanics when it's really just their skill.
Anyway, OP I hope that helps you out a bit anyway to get over some of these "issues," go kill some Tarkas.