Knew I should've tied that rope around him when I had the chance
this is a story I want no part of.
Are you volunteering? If so, I set up a makeshift table for surgery. Just bring your own booze for the pain, or something heavy to knock yourself out with
I'll do the cutting and pasting
dont worry, I've only sewn the surgery sponge into 2 of my 3 patients, and the paste is only a few decades old. (a little crusty, but it'll work)