ARTHUR: There! Look!
LAUNCELOT: What does it say?
GALAHAD: What language is that?
ARTHUR: Brother Maynard! You are a scholar.
MAYNARD: It's Aramaic!
GALAHAD: Of course! Joseph of Arimathea!
LAUNCELOT: 'Course!
ARTHUR: What does it say?
MAYNARD: It reads, 'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea.
He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find whatever is chasing the Vasari in the Castle of uuggggggh'.
ARTHUR: What?
MAYNARD: '... the Castle of uuggggggh'.
BEDEVERE: What is that?
MAYNARD: He must have died while carving it.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, come on!
MAYNARD: Well, that's what it says.
ARTHUR: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve 'aaggggh'. He'd
just say it!
MAYNARD: Well, that's what's carved in the rock!
GALAHAD: Perhaps he was dictating.
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up. Well, does it say anything else?
MAYNARD: No. Just, 'uuggggggh'.
LAUNCELOT: Aauuggghhh.
ARTHUR: Aaauggh.
BEDEVERE: Do you suppose he meant the Camaaaaaargue?
GALAHAD: Where's that?
BEDEVERE: France, I think.
LAUNCELOT: Isn't there a Saint Aauuuves in Cornwall?
ARTHUR: No, that's Saint Ives.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, yes. Saint Iiiives.
KNIGHTS: Iiiiives.
BEDEVERE: Oooohoohohooo!
LAUNCELOT: No, no. 'Aauuuuugh', at the back of the throat. Aauuugh.
BEDEVERE: N-- no. No, no, no, no. 'Oooooooh', in surprise and alarm.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, you mean sort of a 'aaaah'!
BEDEVERE: Yes, but I-- aaaaaah!
ARTHUR: Oooh!
GALAHAD: My God!
[dramatic chord]
[roar]
MAYNARD: It's the legendary Black Beast of Aaauugh!
[Black Beast of Aaauugh eats BROTHER MAYNARD]
BEDEVERE: That's it! That's it!
ARTHUR: Run away!
KNIGHTS: Run away!
[roar]
Run away! Run awaaay! Run awaaaaay!
[roar]
Keep running!
[boom]
[roar]
Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!...
BEDEVERE: We've lost him.
[roar]
KNIGHTS: Aagh!
NARRATOR: As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape for Arthur and
his knights seemed hopeless, when suddenly, the Forum Moderator suffered a fatal
heart attack.
FORUM MODERATOR: Ulk!
[thump]
NARRATOR: The peril was no more. The quest for whatever was hunting the Vasari could
continue.
