Look out for Azrak or [_]-Azrak when you're online. Checking the sticky regarding strategies/counters in the Strategy forum would help as well.

Post a replay for some of the experts to analyze.

I suggest watching replays and then paying attention to what the good players did.  Try to reverse engineer your strategy.  Is it also possible that given your style of play you would be better off with another race?

One of the habits I needed to break was colonizing without upping my fleet. I'd end up researching or upgrading but then I'd get a whisper from the AI to let me know they were going to attack. Their fleet would be bigger and I'd have to start retreating and then building up my forces. This would happen almost every game. But then I'd watch my replays from the AIs pespective and make notes like when does it start to get a bigger fleet.

Watch your own replays and download multiplayer replays. I've learned so much from them. If you can post a replay in this thread I'm sure the community will advise. Also here is an excellent counters thread.