TOP! WOOT!

more more more

 

we need an additional 18 pages

 

stop thinking, start posting

 

let's get this party started

 

-Exile

From Mike's first post, I count 16 more.

Please don't tell me we're expected to start over.

arghh you think again

 

post damnit

 

-Exile

i said post

NAOW

 

-Exile

like right now

 

-Exile

boo

who????

harpo

hmm, that spam was good...

reminds me of Aussie Military Ration packs... you eat the cheese in the morning for brekky and it plugs you up, then you have the chocolate for dessert and you start flowing again. you get immune to it after a while, but its always fun watching the new cadets struggle with it *evil laugh*

Speaking of Cadets... there was this one kids we all hated, so when he was asleep we moved him and his sleeping bag onto a mound of Inch Ants (these big ass Ants an inch long with pincers that take a big bloody chunk out of you when they bite). it was hilarious the ants picked him up (and he wasnt a small guy either) and totally moved him about 2 meters to be closer to their mound.

When he woke up he started dancing like nobody's business =P

^^^That is dickish. Your lucky Commissars don't exist as they do in the Warhammer 40k Universe, you'd likely be executed for disrupting the combat readiness of your unit.

Actually, being a dick and getting away with it is highly recommended in all military units. Two rules: Don't do anything that is counter-prodcutive to your superior and don't get caught. Number two can void number one. Later I have to tell you some stories I've heard from my military buddies (I have them going back to WWII).

combat readiness? we used that guy to prop up the portaloos while we were on Ops... he was good for practical jokes and thats it!

really helped keep the moral of the rest of my unit up though

oh, and Draak, ill tell you some stories of not getting caught =P

One time at band camp...

oh no

more war stories from the old timers

Kinda... let me start with the oldest I know. A friend of mine was an Army CO in the Korean War, let's forget about names, who had just finished morning inspection. He had a fellow CO who was a dick, the type that not only made you do push ups in the mud, but would sit on you and beat the shit out of you while you do it. Total dick. Let's call him Dick. Dick came over and asked for a favor. He was running a bit behind and needed an extra hand with his unit's inspection, so he asked my friend to give him a hand. He figured, 'why not?' So they go next door to do the inspection and my friend took the right and Dick took the left. The right side had a storage area in the bunker, causing him to get to the first guy after Dick, thus putting him a few seconds behind. I don't know if you guys know, but during the Korean War, the M1 Garand was commonly used, and Garand Thumb is caused by accidentally snapping the bolt closed on your finger, which is easy to do if it's not locked back or you don't hold it. Just touching the follower or bolt can cause it to snap. So my friend gets up to his first man and he immediately notices that the bolts are put back and that the soldier was sweating profusely. Normally they have the bolts closed, but he figured maybe it was Dick's preference, and he had no idea why the guy was so nervous. What you do is, with the bolt back, you put your thumb in the chamber and look down the barrel, reflecting light off your nail to inspect the barrel cleanliness. Being wary of the bolt pulled back, my friend looks at the follower and notices the bolt is just barely hanging on the edge of it. It's then that he hears a snap and a scream, turning to see Dick stuck his thumb in and when he taps the follower, BOOM... Garand Thumb. To make it worse, Dick tried to yank his thumb out and took the nail clean off. Looking back, my friend tapped the butt of the gun on the ground and heard the bolt snap. It was right then that every other soldier reached around their shouldered weapon and locked the bolts back. He didn't say anything to Dick, cause Dick thought it was his own fault and Dick was a Dick.

And the Great Wall of Text award goes to...

I prefer the story of locking the enemy CO inside a portaloo with an angry wombat and then pushing the portaloo over

hehe wombats are funny

Okay, want a shorter one? Before revele, I had a friend in A&M Army Corp that went door to door in the dorm, hammering nickels into the doors and slipping MRE heating elements covered in Tabasco Sauce under the doors. He was the only one to report that day and the CO told him he wouldn't let the others know if he never did it again.

that one was funny =P

we were camping on a high bluff overlooking a ravine with a river at the bottom of it one camp. we grabbed our big touch macho heavy weapons guy while he was sleeping and moved him so that he was lying face down with his head dangling over the edge of the cliff, then used rope and tent pegs to lash him to the ground so he wouldnt roll off.

when he woke up he started screaming like a little girl

the rest of us nearly rolled off the hill because of it =P

You know those old iron megaphones from all hell ago? So these guys found a whole stash of them and decided to weld them together to make them face in all directions. They took them into the center of the base and propped em up with a concussion grenade in the center. Middle of the night BOOM! Every window for a quarter mile was shattered and the megaphones were twisted but otherwise intact.

haha, rofl

we took an m249 LMG out to the range and a big Red Kangaroo (the big mean boxing ones for you americans out there) came hopping along

well, the guys shot at it at max range and all i can say is there was only red mist and bits of fur left afterwards...

poor giant mouse

Okay, I have to admit, I feel bad for that poor kangaroo.

So they're playing wargames out there, right? They're suppose to be using the lazer tag system to take people out, but this one guy was a Ranger and a total badass. So instead of simply shooting them, he went out into a field and disappeared. You didn't even see the grass move, but he would take the feet out from under one person after another and leave them tied up and gagged. He left 16 guys out in four foot grass during a Texas summer. Took them forever to find the poor bastards.

just a troll on patrol, keep on posting

 

 

-Exile

I thought you were a patrol on troll trying to catch fish

harpo