banned for going on a zepplin trip made of led

If you are referring to my comment then you need to watch Star Trek First Contact.

Banned for going on a trip that Ozzie Osbourne would be proud of.

banned for having a hand in the bush

Banned for suggesting Kate would even let me.

Banned for Frank said it so it must be true.  ;/

banned for thinking old blue eyes knew anything

Banned for old brown eye peeking through the curtains

Banned for hiding behind bushes. 

Banned for beating the bush.

Banned for wanting two birds in the bush to see if the old saying is true.  I can assuredly tell you that it is not.  Once you've had two birds in the bush you're never satisfied with just one in the hand.

banned for bird dogging

Banned for dogs can't take pictures of birds.   That's silly

banned because yes dogs can't take pictures but they can set you up for a shot at birds

Banned for pointing that out.    ( badum-ching)

Banned for impolitely pointing to other stuff.

banned for putting my kids in school

Banned for bringing up personal/domestic issues here.... besides, kids belong in school [and if I had my way, it'd be 24/7 days a week 364 days a year... they can come home X-mas day to do the Christmas dinner dishes.]

banned for wanting someone else to care for your kids

Banned for I got no kids at home... my kids are in their mid-to-late 30's [34 and 37] and I've done my bit... now it's their turn to look after me.

Banned for my mom never put me in school, she sent me instead. :/

banned for having to walk to school in the snow

up hill

both ways

with no shoes

Banned for being sent, then playing hookey behind the bike shed with all the naughty boys... 'Hey you, stand still laddie'... cos all in all, you're just another brick in the wall

banned for letting the worms eat into your brain to make yourself comfortably numb because one of these days I'm going to cut you into little pieces with several small furry animals and grooving with a Pict

Banned for small tales.

Banned for Oi! It's not anyone's fault.