Hi Guys, my name is BlackHawk and I am suffering from gamerholicism

I been playing games for sooooooo long now its hard to remember when I actually started. My gaming addtiction started when brought sins of a solar empire from my local gaming store. Like most people, games are a fun way to relax, chill out after a hard days work, but for some reason, games no longer became fun for me.

Sins of a solar empire has a very small community back than, and it was easy to make friends online as there were only about 100 players online. When I first started off, I was already trashed talked, kicked out of 3 games (mostly DT and BIA players kicking me out ) and that was all in my first day!

But instead of moaning, and groaning I got better, much better then I expected and at least ranked in the top 10 of players of sins (not bragging guys, there are so many great players in sins, and I like playing with you all), but from being a nice guy like I am in real life, I turned into the morons who used to trash talk me, kick me out of games etc.

The reason I changed was because the power of being good at something like gaming (how nerdy!) turned me into something differnet!, I aint like this in real life, If I am good at a sport (cricket) or good at a subject I am always willing to help people out, but the power drove me mad in sins, that I was able to beat 97% of players on Ironclad Online without even thinking.

from a fun multiplayer experiance to a easy, and annoying game in which EVERY GAME i had to win, no matter what!

Now To The Addiction Part

I noticed I started to strive to be the better than the people who used to kick me out of games on my first day of the worst gaming experiance I ever experianced in my life, I only played one games online preivous to this, world in conflict( what a joy! ) and than sins.

When I started to become better, I started to play more and more, sometimes even player 12hrs a day at my peak! how sad! , but than it was now more like 5 hours a day at least, I even used to ignore doing coursework for University, so that I can get a quick game before I go sleep at 2.00am than wake up at 12am, to find that I missed a 2hr lecture .

Now I think to myself, why did I spend all them hours to beat the players who used to trash talk and abuse me online? what have I ahchived? I get into EVERY PUG game online, I beat the players who used to beat me, but what life goals have I ahcived? My social life is good, but what happens if I used all them gaming hours, not only on sins but many other games to create a more better social life? more life skills? etc.

I aint as bad as most people, I say i am about medicore/hardcore addicted to games, but thank god i dont play Massive Online Multiplayer games e.g wow, star trek online.

Summary

I deleted sins off my laptop, and put my xbox 360 away for a while or hopefully......for good. I am hopefully going to join some language classes, and get back ahead of my studying, its been two days since I played my last game, and I am so tempted to go back to it, but I keep telling myself..........

..........do you want to travel the world? learn new languages? or think about getting 2300 experaince points to get missle barrage and get a 'gg'.

My advice to you people, why play games? why not learn a new language in your spare time? why not do things you wouldent usally do?

My plans are to stop gaming and:

- Learn a new language

- Start Swimming

- Start Rock Climbing

Gaming aint bad, gaming isnt bad if it dont affect your studying, social life, relationships etc. but if it does, guys, you really need to rethink your life, I have, and I hope many people would agree, too much gaming = very bad. 

Until my addtiction is containined, NO MORE GAMING!

Shame, I never finished my sucide mission in mass effect 2