First, make "hidden folders" viewable...if you don't know how to do this, then:

1. Go to my computer (or anything in windows explorer)
2. Click the tab called "organize" (top right)
3. Go to "folder and search options"
4. Go to the "view" tab (middle tab at top)
5. In the middle of the window, click the toggle button "Show hidden files..."
6. Click "OK" or "apply"

As for finding where the mod should go, I'm not sure if Steam stores it in the same place but I think it does...

1. Go to your hardrive
2. Go to the folder "users"
3. Go to the folder named after your username
4. Go to the folder named "AppData" (you can only see this if hidden files are viewable)
5. Go to "local", then "Ironclad Games", then "Sins of a Solar Empire"
6. There should be a folder in their called "Mods-Diplomacy v1.34"

My username on my PC is Seleuceia, and so the directory I go to is:

C:\Users\Seleuceia\AppData\Local\Ironclad Games\Sins of a Solar Empire\Mods-Diplomacy v1.34

If the mod you have is called "AWESOME MOD", then you would place the mod in there...all of a mod's elements need to be grouped in a single folder, and it is logical to name that folder after the name of the mod (most released mods already do this)

To enable the mod, run the game...go to "options" on the main menu, go to the "mods" tab (at the bottom)...if you put the mod in the right place, you should be able to select if from the left column...click the mod you want, click the "enable" button (the mod name should now appear in the right column as well), then click "apply" at the bottom right...

If everything is done right, you should have a checksum of some number other than zero...if you have a checksum of zero, make sure the mod isn't "double-nested" (ex: you have the mod contents in a folder called "AWESOME MOD", which is itself in another folder called "AWESOME MOD", usually the result of extracting zipped files)...

Multiple mods can be enabled at once, and mods listed higher on the right column have priority...so if you enable two mods that both edit the file "GameInfo", the file from the upper mod will be used...

Hope this helps...

You did extract the mod using 7 zip into the mod folder?

im pretty sure im usin 7 zip but like i said i dont know what im doin really lol but i did sit here for 10 minutes and it stayed froze how long does it usually stay froze when u enable a mod

Put the game in window mod before you activate. 

What's the checksum of the mod you are trying to activate. Are you running Vanilla, Entrenchment or Diplomacy when you are trying to activate?

Any screenshots of what you are doing would be helpful.

If your going to NECRO at-least work to make your comments more interesting