Seriously, in the past couple of months this forum has really gone to pieces. Old-time trolls like Goafan and Protoplazm have really stepped up their game, trolling countless legitimate threads into oblivion. Their now-daily attacks on the sanctity of this forum have shocked thousands into silence. The Old Guard have dramatically expanded their recruiting efforts as well, nurturing promising new trolling talent like WOEaintME and Uncrustable. It would seem at this rate the entire place could turn into a troll fortress/breeding ground, ready in a few weeks to launch an assault on other stardock forums like GalCiv or Enchantress.
Meanwhile, behind the scenes, Undisputed Troll King Seleuceia and his right hand man Ryat are slowly purging the few sane remaining members. Thoughtful responses by respected members of the community (like Sareth or ARESIV) are immediately attacked and scourged of all signs of intelligent life. Poor, innocent souls like Turchany whose only crime lay in seeking game help are now carefully indoctrinated into being fanatical members of the Tangerine Mountain Clan.
Even the great Cykur has not been able to resist the clutches of their master plan. A member of the legendary Horadrim, he was responsible for the eradication of the first Troll Rebellion back in 2012. At the height of the rebellion, the fate of the world looked very bleak. Endless troll armies had overrun the kingdoms of Yarlen, Frogboy, and Kryo. They had even captured the heart of the Human Empire itself, the city of Riddleking. Hope was fading. But not for Cykur. Leading an army of only a few hundred men, he singlehandedly slew many troll grunts and the infamous one-eyed brute Quar. He finally came face to face with the most feared Troll King of all-time, Mecha-Lenin. For 40 days and 40 nights they engaged in a fearsome battle. From the lowest valley to the highest mountain top, the sound of their swords clashing sent shockwaves throughout the entire Earth. Finally, Cykur declared, "Now it ends." He unsheathed the Sword of the Morning and held it with both hands. The blade was as pale as milkglass, alive with light. Cykur plunged it into Mecha-Lenin's heart, transforming him into Human-Lenin and ridding the world of evil and trollery... A new era of peace and prosperity had begun...
He was forever after known as Cykur the Conqueror...
But now Cykur is dead... slain by his own treacherous half-brother Teun-a-Roonius, who wanted the throne for himself. Teun disbanded the great army of the light, and executed its generals ZombieRus and MajorStress, as he had come under the evil influence of Seleuceia. However, the protege of the great general Zombie, Sinkillr, managed to escape the clutches of the troll army and ensured that all hope was not lost. With dashing good looks and a great propensity for telling the truth, some even believe he is Cykur the Vanquisher come again. Rumors are swirling around that he is marshalling a huge army of truth and justice as we speak, ready to put an end to the Second Troll Rebellion. It is even said that many of the reclusive brony horse lords have made an alliance with Sinkillr, ready to purge the world of evil once more. We urge all followers of the light to join his great host, as he is our best chance of eradicating the troll threat. The infectious disease must be removed at its roots: the Fortress of MODrad-SPur. Only then will the great troll army be defeated; once, and for all.
May the MDs be ever in your favor as we start this holy crusade...
