sapphira, yes that's why I think it is so funny.
This is a Classic Conversation from the Movie and One of My Favorites
->MAN IN BLACK (The Dread Pirate Roberts)
All right: where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right and who is dead.
->VINZINI
But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet, or his enemy's?
He studies the ->MAN IN BLACK now.
->VINZINI
Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I'm not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
->MAN IN BLACK
(And now there's a trace of nervousness beginning)
You've made your decision then7
->VINZINI
Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
->MAN IN BLACK
Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
->VINZINI
Wait till I get going! Where was I?
->MAN IN BLACK
Australia.
->VINZINI
Yes Australia, and you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
->MAN IN BLACK
(very nervous)
You're just stalling now.
->VINZINI
(cackling)
You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?
(stares at the ->MAN IN BLACK)
You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong. So, you could have put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard which means you must have studied. And in studying, you must have learned that man is mortal so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
As ->VINZINI's pleasure has been growing throughout, the ->MAN IN BLACK's has been fast disappearing.
->MAN IN BLACK
You're trying to trick me into giving away something it won't work
->VINZINI
(triumphant)
It has worked you've given everything away I know where the poison is.
->MAN IN BLACK
(fool's courage)
Then make your choice.
->VINZINI
I will. And I choose
And suddenly he stops, points at something behind the ->MAN IN BLACK.
->VINZINI
what in the world can that be?
THE ->MAN IN BLACK,
turning around, looking.
->MAN IN BLACK
What? Where? I don't see anything.
->VINZINI,
busily switching the goblets while the ->MAN IN BLACK has his head turned.
->VINZINI
Oh, well, I-I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.
The ->MAN IN BLACK turns to face him again. ->VINZINI starts to laugh.
->MAN IN BLACK
What's so funny?
->VINZINI
I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's drink me from my glass, and you from yours.
And he picks up his goblet. The ->MAN IN BLACK picks up the one in front of him. As they both start to drink, ->VINZINI hesitates a moment.
Then, allowing the ->MAN IN BLACK to drink first, he swallows his wine.
->MAN IN BLACK
You guessed wrong.
->VINZINI
(roaring with laughter)
You only think I guessed wrong
(louder now)
that's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned. You fool.
THE ->MAN IN BLACK.
There's nothing he can say. He just sits there.
->VINZINI,
watching him.
->VINZINI
You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line."
He laughs and roars and cackles and whoops and is in all ways quite cheery until he falls over dead.
[Message Edited]
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