MMD

More Mindless Drivel

January 3, 2005 4:03 AM from

       I'm Worthless
       I figured it out (although I had some help, I'll admit it), I believe I'm worthless. Looking at it I think I've believed that for years, at least the last 16 which is as far back as my memory works with any reliability. And since actions are driven by belief, no wonder I do the things I do.
       This explains so much. I believe I'm worthless, so I refuse help, force friends away, fail at relationships, lose jobs, hate myself, and the list just goes on. It makes so much sense, I'm almost giddy. No wonder I'm always trying to help people, I'm trying to prove my worth by being able to help others. And yet I find it a mystery that people don't hate me, because I believe I am worthless, and why would anyone care about someone that is worthless.
       I don't know how I could have missed that I believed this for so long (baring of course the obvious, that I am indeed worthless), it's like I can actually see for the first time. I feel like I might have actually gone sane from the revelation. Not to say any of the things I did are good or should be excused, but I think I've figured out why I did(do) what I did(do). Now I have to decide if I accept this belief as fact or find some way to disprove it and move beyond.
       In the mean time, I think I should hide my keyboard so I stop writing such nonsense. Three articles in one night, all on essentially the same topic, must write less

philosophy

2,674 views 4 replies

Reply #1 January 4, 2005 2:39 PM from

JoeUser Forums Top

i don't think you are worthless, you are kind, thoughtful, caring, these sorts of attributes determine someones worth much more than holding a job, and other worldly accomplishments.

Reply #2 January 4, 2005 4:05 PM from

JoeUser Forums Top

If no one else believes you are worthless where do you get this idea from?
I do not know you personally but from the comments you have given me and from the posts you have writen, you are not worthless.
At least I do not think so.
Loosing jobs and failing at relationships makes you human.
I hope you feel better soon:)

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Reply #3 January 4, 2005 8:51 PM from

JoeUser Forums Top

farfromhome: Thanks for the vote of support, but now I'm going to be wondering if I know the anonymous person posting

Brenda Holiday: I got the idea from talking to someone. It was said that I had no sense of my own value, and from that I came to the conlusion that I believe myself worthless. And as I said, that belief fits. I havn't yet decided if the belief is true or not, but I do believe that. As the saying goes, the first step to solving a problem is to identify the problem...

Reply #4 January 5, 2005 2:56 AM from

JoeUser Forums Top

Oh Danny, sometimes you write things that just have me nodding in agreement. I used to, and sometimes still do, feel the same way. Not all the time now, but I felt it for so long that I thought that I was going crazy. I can't believe how often that the shitty things that happen to me are of my own doing. How crazy is that?
Blah... I have no answers, no words of advice. Just a little message to let you know I hear you.

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