Hate for the Sake of Feeling

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from JoeUser Forums
Hate for the Sake of Feeling

You lose friends, sometimes. Casual friends, intimate friends, you lose them in places that you know the best. Forget them: that's the easiest way to do it. Take them for granted. Try to make them responsible for your well being. You lose them before you even know they're gone.

Sometimes they resurface, unbidden and unsought. They forget why you left them behind, and the forgetting makes them angry. They feel something and they want an explanation.

The easiest answer is always hate. Makes you feel like you're a good person, does it not? Copyright ©2004, ©2005, ©2006 Joshua Suchman. All rights reserved.
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6,139 views 9 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
No, losing friends is bad, hating lost friends is badder still.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Very true.

Still, hate is easiest.
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
perhaps, but easy isn't always right, or good, proper, healthy, etc...
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
in a way, that was my point.

i wrote this article in response to a comment made on a poem a wrote and posted recently. the response came from an old, old girlfriend, out of the blue. i believe she probably googled me and ran into this piece of writing. . .some of which she had seen before. her comment was somewhat terse, and I considered how much resentment stored up inside her had cost her over the years since i left.

but then i rethought, and received some follow-up messages from her, and realized that not only is hate an easy emotion to fall into, it is an easy one to pin on another person. it's that rush of self-righteousness that hits us at different moments. . .an emotion that doesn't always come from hate, but often does, too. when you figure out what is happening to you, the hate can be an epiphany. you can remember things. you can get in other people's shoes.

TBT
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
what i mean is this:

when you feel that rush of hate and it washes away reason, you need to wonder why. the hate is just something you learn throughout your life in order to prevent yourself from changing. it's a bad thing--not a healthy expression of feeling.

TBT
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Reason: the ability to judge based on experience and to hypothesize future occurrence.

Everyone uses reason differently. West ern Civ. is based on a religious devotion to reason--and that is also dangerous. Still, we are too smart, and we cannot absolve ourselves by saying, "emotions got the best of me". We learn our emotional responses just as we learn our logical, conscious thought process.

As far as change goes: "I know as well that a single act can hardly change a life, that all cures are slower than we hope. . .and I say out loud that I will give myself the chance to change my mind. . . ."--Ethan Canin

TBT