Do you hear that flush? It is the sound of the Sci-Fi channel taking the
potential fan base support of Battlestar Galactica and sending it down to the
nether regions. The more I hear about it, the more convinced I am that it
is going to suck. Not suck in a slightly disappointing way but suck in
such a massive way that in 10 years we'll look back and put it up there with
Star Trek 5 and Battlestar Galactic 1980 as chapters in science fiction that we
feel required to forget about.
The trashing of Battlestar Galactica isn't due to dedicated websites panning
it (and they do exist) but from watching the trailers Sci-Fi's own website:
It doesn't take long after viewing the trailer to wonder the pertinent
question: Are they high?
Let's look at the, ahem, alterations:
- Starbuck is a girl.
- The Cylons look like people now
- The Cylon ships look very different
- The humans built the Cylons
- The show has a "sexier" motif
Again: Are they high?
Starbuck is a girl. Why? Why would you do that? In the trailer, and remember,
trailers are where they are trying to highlight what the show is about in a
short amount of time, it has Starbuck (a girl) having an affair with a married
man. In fact, about half the trailer involve her necking with people. We'll get
to that in a moment.
The Cylons now look like people? Hello? That was the coolest part about
Battlestar Galactica -- the robots. With the little red dot waving back and
forth and the sound effect. Hey Sci-Fi channel, we saw Terminator already.
It's been done. Which leads to...
Previously the Cylons were once a reptilian like race that slowly mechanized
themselves. It was a really cool concept. It was still very cool with the
Matrix. But the whole deal with Battlestar Galactica changing a basic premise to
become a derivative is really sad. Here's the deal folks: We have been
adequately warned through plenty of movies, books, and stories about the dangers
of building intelligent robots. You know what? If we still manage to build
robots without putting in safe guards and they take over, then I say: Good for
them! Sign me up to be a slaveling. Because we don't deserve to exist as a
species if at the time we can finally build intelligent robots that we haven't
heeded the massive warnings to make sure they don't turn on us.
And lastly, the show has a sexier motif. Good god. This is regular TV. The
producers at the Sci Fi channel need to check something we call THE INTERNET. At
this point, simulated sex on regular TV is about as stimulating as watching
paint dry. My inbox gets spicier stuff in it every day whether I want it or not.
People who watch sci-fi shows do not want screen time wasted on PG sex scenes.
To get a rise out of the typical connected Sci-Fi fan you'd need Starbuck (a
girl) to be doing it with a dagget. And I don't mean simulating it either. I
mean literally having sex with a dagget. Because in the age of the Internet, PG
sex in a sci-fi show is just a waste. Stick with telling us the story. Not
boring us watching Starbuck (a girl) kissing some guy.
The whole thing is quite revealing about how screwed up Hollywood is. Do they
even look at who they hope will watch their shows? Do they do any sort of
calculation at all about making arbitrary (And for the worse) changes to the
story line? Those changes won't gain them any new audience members and lose them
plenty of the existing fan base.
I haven't checked out some of the fan sites who track this stuff closely. I'm
sure they have details that would only horrify me further. Just the stuff on the
Sci-Fi channel website is enough to make me want to jump under my desk and
crouch into the fetal position trying to make believe it's all a big mistake.