The tenets of forgiveness, compassion, understanding, humbleness etc., seem to be only applicable to those who are of the same beliefs. This smacks of a very large, very ripe hypocrisy. I’m am sure that if the man called Jesus actually existed, he would be shocked at how his words of peace have been so twisted around.
Nobody likes your idea of what a Christian is. Not showing love for all is bad. Jesus said to love your enemies, not to exclude them. Of course you don't want to be a Christian if what you say here is what being a Christian means. You have figured out that there should be more to life than that, but instead of going deeper into what Christianity really means you turn away and try to find it elsewhere. I can't really blame you.
But, just to be fair, people like how you say are not the 'fanatical' Christians. They're the 'Sunday' people. A fanatical Christian will put God into every conversation, sure, but they will do it out of love for you. Sunday Christians put God into every conversation to A) show you how great they are for believing and

make you feel guilty and bad for not believing.
The natural response when confronted with the perfection of God is to feel guilty and worthless, but there is no condemnation in Christ and God places value on you. You are valuable, and Christ does love you. I'm sorry that nobody has bothered to really show you that. I know any essay I write about it will not show you that, either.