Sorry I have read every Lord of the Rings book multiple times including all the lesser works so I suppose phrasing of sentences in High style/passive voice (I think thats passive voice) is something I fall into doing. I also pull on Frank Herbert's Dune books a lot since I am a huge fan of everything Dune. Hence some of the technology stated like lasguns are actually a Dune item.
Touché my friend you make some good points that I missed in my all to hasty attempt at getting this out. I should have spent a lot more time reviewing grammar and appropriate diction for the circumstances. As for all formating issues I do have all of the computer part separated and all of Marcus' asides done in different font in word but when it transfered over to the forum it stripped all formatting and well I couldn't quite figure out how to re-italicize items and what not. As for Cassandras l
Please sir point out my flaws I just went from a rough outline to this in 2 hours and really didn't spend much time editing because I got lazy and this probably is not final. This is also the first time I have ever tried writing anything of this sort I normally just do essays and literary analysis and what not in school. So by all means point out flaws I know they are there. But if you want to stroke my ego I suppose that is ok too!
I have posted my story in a new thread here https://forums.sinsofasolarempire.com/?aid=172030 check it out please
Prologue "This is Market Analyst Marcus, can anyone read me!" he said in an exasperated tone. Fear slowly trickled into his body, mind, and soul; to think this entire mission could be a complete waste of valuable life if he couldn't get this communications array up and running. Suddenly behind him the door crashed open. It was his last remaining colleague Cassandra… What a mission it was just one accident after another until three of his four
I have done a little research and have begun outlining a story on the exile of the Advent beginning with the Highly distorted and corrupted transmission from the Market Analysts and ending at the conclusion of the forced exodus from the Advents original volcanic planet. It will hopefully be an epic tale of how a simple courier captain ends up personally transporting the data and message from a TEC listening post to the head of then developing TEC coalition Board of Directors. ( I figure if they
I think I may do one... Not sure what about though...
