whatshesaid

Dissect. in Life JoeUser Forums

After having gotten off a very long phone call with my mom, I've realised something. I have intimacy issues. And there isn't even a hint of smile on my face as I'm typing this. I really think I do. Like, I get very uncomfortable when I get into physical contact with people. Even the ones I'm close to, even my family, especially my family. I withdraw. I just feel extremely uncomfortable that there is contact, and I would try to keep away to main

Revert. in Life JoeUser Forums

You know... After having gone through so much, I suddenly feel this dawning realization creep up upon me. I guess after every personal crisis I go through, I would think that that is the worst already, but it really isn't. There are so many more obstacles and delusions that fate and life are more than happy to hand me. Everytime something happens to me, I'd raise my hands in defeat and claim that there isn't anything else I can handle. Yet when life flings another curve

Please. in Life JoeUser Forums

I have various outlets for writing. One is a public outlet, where only the surface details of my happenings are revealed. 2nd, a locked journal, where only my closest friends are updated on what is really going on. And then there's here, where I'm allowed to express myself freely and without being judged. I try not to type like this in my other outlets. When I do type like this, I get judged. People say I'm trying too hard to sound impressive with great vocab.<b

Ever thiine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours. in Life JoeUser Forums

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us ... Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits ... No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves ... Your lo

something to live for. in Life JoeUser Forums

The rain pours relentlessly outside, beating the windows furiously. It is almost 4am now, and sleep eludes me yet again. It is exceedingly frustrating how I am unable to resume my healthy sleeping habits. I yearn to sleep and wake up at normal hours, I yearn to have healthy and constant meals. I yearn to attend classes like everyone else does and revel in the short-lived laughter everyone indulges in daily. Add another 6 pills to my current 10. I now have 1

I'm Not Okay. in Life JoeUser Forums

I am nineteen this year. I have only been in love once. I came close to falling in love the 2nd time, but lucky for me, I was hurt before it happened. I am nineteen. And I have already forgotten how it feels like to like someone and to be liked back. I have forgotten how does it feel to have a crush, to giggle and blush everytime he comes near. I have forgotten how it feels like to have your friends nudge you everytime he's in the area. I have fo

Losing it. in Life JoeUser Forums

My life, has been nothing short of a Korean drama serial. And not in the good way either. It's not in the good way where I find the guy I love (cringe) and everything is okay. I am currently filled with pent up frustration up till HERE. And I have 25 more days to pull through. Just how the hell am I supposed to do that ? I'm being overly reliable on my pills again.. and this is not good at all.

Close your eyes, clear your mind, let it go. in Life JoeUser Forums

I stand by the shoreline, the wind breezing by gently, teasing my hair into disarray. The car behind me waits patiently as it's owner leans against the door watching me. I turned around and looked -- patience was offered. I had all the time in the world. I looked down in my hand, a glint of silvery shine. I fingered it for a moment or two, closed my eyes, and allowed the flashbacks to drown me. Waves after waves of memories hit me like a sledgehammer. All the laughter, all

Run baby, run. in Life JoeUser Forums

The monotonous rhythm at home was killing me, I had to get out. I packed my gym apparel and headed out. The sun was in my eye, and from the corner of my eye, I saw blue. A blue Citroen Xsara. P-E-N. My heart sank. The sky started to cry so I hurried along and hailed a cab. "Sunway Pyramid." He sped off as the little beads of water hit the windows angrily. With my earphones plugged in, I pondered about that little blue car. I was pretty sure he isn't allowed to get

Subtle Happiness. in Life JoeUser Forums

Yesterday, after class, I went over to the chinese restaurant located at the base of Block A. As usual, I made my order, and I waited. I saw that the old man who sold fruits at a little corner nearby smile at me. I smiled back and walked over. He seemed to be in his mid 50s. "Hi girl, want some fruits?" I nodded and replied, "Hi uncle, yeah sure, I haven't seen you around in awhile." "That's because Uncle finished selling all the fruits early. So I go back earli

Goodnight, everyone. in Life JoeUser Forums

It is 11pm, and I just got back from the fitness center. Funny how my days used to start at 4pm but now by 10ish, I'm already sleepy and tired. And the best part is, I wake up nice and early in the mornings. I still can't bring myself to wake up for the 8am class, the sedatives kill me. I usually wake up at half past 8 or somewhere near. And I have my ICC lecture tomorrow. Unfortunately, Mr. Winston isn't so understanding and obliging. He seems more than ready to r

Catch me. in Life JoeUser Forums

"There's this girl I like. The first girl I've loved since I was born. And from here on in, she will always be the o

No more. in Life JoeUser Forums

People have asked me before, but this question is one I asked myself on more than one occasion as well. What do I seek for in love ? I have been educated in an all-girl's school since I was in primary school. I spent a total of 11 years in a Convent school. I never knew boys on a level where it would make it easy for me to be around them. I first learnt about a boy up close and personal, when I was 15. When I was 15, I thought falling in love was having

Melancholy in Life JoeUser Forums

On days like these, I just want to drive over to an ocean or a beach, sit on the sand and let the waves do their job of cleansing me of everything bad and unhappy. And the memory of ten fingers entwined forever in a hopeless wish.

Love/Pain. in Life JoeUser Forums

If Love is a Universal emotion, then the Pain it often causes is equally Universal.

Knackered. in Life JoeUser Forums

Body was slightly sore upon waking up this morning. Yoga did not work out today, I turned to cardio instead. I plugged in the earphone, set the volume up to the highest to block out everything and everyone else. Then, I ran. I imagined myself on this long stretch of road, and with every step I take, I imagine leaving parts of my life behind. Music is my escapism. Music is the one thing I turn to when I'm feeling nothing or when I'm feeling everything. <p

Alligators & Squirrels. in Life JoeUser Forums

Today, i bore witness to a kind of weakness. This only serves to emphasise on the fact that I have already known since the first emotional cut I received; Each and every one of us are hypocrites. On the surface, we all seem like cheerful bubbly personalities. We all lead happy lives, we smile. On the surface, everything is all fine and dandy, we all love each other to bits, we appear to be saints. But what isn't visible to the naked eye, are the currents runnin

Delusions. in Life JoeUser Forums

Right now I'm sitting in the library, watching Cecilia sleep with earphones plugged into her ears, in front of her laptop. And I realised that I could very well do the same, just shove my laptop fowards and rest my head on the table for a power nap. Or I could just hike home and sleep, right now. But that won't do me any good, it wont set my biological clock straight. Not right. And the only other thing keeping me from sleeping is my gastritis. It has successfully become a part

Decisions in Life JoeUser Forums

Most of the time, people make decisions based on huge aspects, based on solid big reasons or effort. I make decisions by observation. I notice the little little things people do or dont do. This drives me to make my decision or choice. And now over time, I noticed the little things, and I have subconsciously been driven to make my choice. I'm a very observant person. I'm very aware of my surroundings, I have this thing where I know what people are thinking. I know what the

At last. in Life Journals JoeUser Forums

I am now on my new laptopp, so I can finally log into my private domain. It’s been awhile, and I needed to do this, I needed to type, I needed to acknowledge this carved emptiness inside me. No matter what I do, I seem to never be able to escape this. This unseen nightmare, which haunts me relentlessly and I have a bad feeling that it will just bog me down someday. I’ve been back here, for about a week now, and returning to KL to continue the semester in about two

Reply to At the end of the day. in Life Stardock Forums

tell me about it (;

Reply to At the end of the day. in Life Stardock Forums

Aw, thanks. :)

Reply to iMac. in Life Stardock Forums

Haha well then, it has been over a decade now, hasn't it ? It really is swanky.

Reply to Stupid word. in Life Stardock Forums

thanks for the input guys.

Little Miss Pissy. in Life JoeUser Forums

I have a very fiery inner core. I'm more of the strong and silent type. When I'm pissed, I don't talk. I don't talk. At all. And if I'm driven and being forced to talk, it will erupt in hurtful and mean words, with biting sarcasm and dripping venom.<br /