(I play Advent)

I am still afraid to get the 1.04 update, and I am in the middle of a game that if frustrating me so.  Among my chief problems is that the Advent is too slow to engage the enemy who always seems faster than myself.  I have the 2nd biggest fleet in the game and it isn't spread out to a lot of systems.  It is on my two choke-point planets right next to eachother.  This is 3 v 3.  The computer's tactic is to lure me to one planet, then when I go there, they easily get out.  Yes, I have taken out a lot of capital ships by sending all my bombers at them, but that's about it.  the rest of the fleet seems to be groping for something to do.  Then while I am occupied here, they invade the planet I just left.  As for my allies, they can be in the gravity well with me, but they never do anything.  they just watch!  I have an extremely balanced uber fleet.  Of the top of my head I have 8 capitals (most level 10),  38 Deasdra Frigs, 20 Iconius, 20 Subjugators, 20 illuminators, 50+ drone host (all bombers), and around 20 defense vessels (the reason I don't employ fighters).  I have researched everything by now and have tried every structure combination to help.  I have tried stacking 4 ihibitors together at the exit side if the gravity well, but the enemy can pretty much leave at will (or seems so), plus they split in two  (which is smart) but my fleet is not as smart.   If I split my fleet, the AI's allies acutally coordinate attacks and can field fleets larger than each of my split fleets.  It's nice that the AI's allies actually know how to play as a team, but mine are idiots.  Oh, and btw, please don't let an ally tell me "help is here!" or "the cavalry has arrived" when they are sending is a scout only.  Right now, the game feels like I am playing against 5 other players, just that 2 I know won't attack me.  Kinda sucks.