When you build a temple in your back yard and wonder why your neighbors haven't moved out the next day.
When your kids build tree forts, you encourage them to install self destruct mechanisms in case they ever get overrun. If your neighbor's kids start throwing rocks from their treehouse, you mutter under your breath about the damn advent.
You get in a car accident and have an out of body experience. Good thing you researched lingering presence. You expect to be resurrected shortly by the mothership.
You and your friends go shopping and bring your kids. You calculate optimal cart placement based on the "3 kids per isle" rule (4 for the bakery, deli, and fresh foods areas).
You giggle hysterically every time you crack open an egg. Easter is especially enjoyable.
You refer to your wife as "the mothership" when talking about her to your kids.
You move into a new apartment and there's no room for anything. What were you thinking colonizing a dead asteroid!!?
You start your evening at "the pirate base" and after a few drinks find yourself out raiding people's homes for cash.
Your car stalls at a light and you start looking for phase jump inhibitors.
*disclaimer: single, with no kids. They just fit the jokes pretty well!
