I would give you karma but W. Stutter has also left the building.

i would give you karma but, i had to authorize the overtime.

I would give you karma but I've just requisitioned a laser guided peashooter to bring down the kitten korps so I can go take a whiz in peace.

[hehe, howzat fer cross-threadin']

I would give you karma but that stinging feeling in your buttocks is the result porcupine quills fired from a laser guided peashooter... thus any karma would leak from the punctures so what's the use anyhow?

I would give you karma but you're testing our patience with that lazy crap.... so pull yer finger out an get busy donating karma to poor unfortunate souls.... such as myself.

I would give you karma but fark me, laziness is too poor an excuse to not give me karma... get some vibrant energy into you then give me an excuse worthy of a politician who's never ever kept a promise.

I Would give you karma but sarcasm and sending troops to war don't belong on the same page.  Sending people to possibly be maimed or killed can never be a good thing.  However, sending bankers and politicians [the bastards who start the f**cking wars] to learn breaststroke in shark infested waters is perfectly acceptable.

I would give you karma but you've been indoctrinated by false propaganda.  Believing politicians, bah.... so if you don't that thinking for yourself I'm gonna start deducting karma.

I would give you karma but this other, replacement you is obviously an imposter and recipients must be original specimens to qualify.

Speaking of specimens, this guy who'd never needed to see a doctor before asks his wife what a specimen was, because his doctor had ordered one.  The wife, also healthy and unaware of what a specimen was, told him to go ask the medical student on the floor below. 

"Come off it," He snorts: "You know he hates my guts and I hate his."

I don't care," she demands: "Go down there and ask him."

About ten minutes later he comes through the front door with a blood nose, fat lip and black eye: "What the f**k happened to you?" the wife demands.

"Well I asked him what a specimen was and he told me to go piss in a bottle."

"So what did you say to that?" asks his wife.

"Well with that I told him to go shit in his boot.... then it was on for young and old."

I would give you karma but you gotta be kidding.... just push that button, Sunshine.

I would give you karma but nocturnal means you likely have bats in the belfry and wouldn't fully understand its significance.  Besides, how are you gonna count it all, being trussed up in a strait jacket and unable t' see yer fingers to add up on?

I would give you karma but I don't want you getting any creepy ideas... the most we can ever be is internet acquaintances, nothing more.

Orright, if ya wanna be friends.... but it must be purely text cos I don't do that weird webcam shit I saw people doing on TV show one time.  Now that WAS some creepy crap.... showing off body piercings in places that my mother hasn't seen since I was a baby.

Yeah, there was a rather unpleasant looking woman, with piercings and tattoos everywhere, who said that her mother reckoned she had the kind of face that'd turn mens heads.... wouldn't do their stomachs much good, either, I thought.

I would give you karma but that cartoon just made me wanna strangle somebody.