I would give you karma but this other, replacement you is obviously an imposter and recipients must be original specimens to qualify.
Speaking of specimens, this guy who'd never needed to see a doctor before asks his wife what a specimen was, because his doctor had ordered one. The wife, also healthy and unaware of what a specimen was, told him to go ask the medical student on the floor below.
"Come off it," He snorts: "You know he hates my guts and I hate his."
I don't care," she demands: "Go down there and ask him."
About ten minutes later he comes through the front door with a blood nose, fat lip and black eye: "What the f**k happened to you?" the wife demands.
"Well I asked him what a specimen was and he told me to go piss in a bottle."
"So what did you say to that?" asks his wife.
"Well with that I told him to go shit in his boot.... then it was on for young and old."