Banned for being the first nincompoop through the door to sign up for a nincompoop membership.

banned for jealousy 

Banned for thinking that you could prise out the truth with a speculum

banned for thinking i only have a limited amount of tools

Banned for banning the sharpest tool in the box.

banned for keeping things in a box like a good banker

Banned for being a bad banker and keeping your savings in a box under the bed.... can still get wet under there, you know.

banned for trying to get under the bed

Banned for I never go under the bed... too many boogeymen and boogeywomen under there already, doing stuff I have a vague recollection of but don't even dream about anymore.

banned for letting your dreams die

Banned for dreaming about becoming a banker since you saved a few pennies.

Banned for failing to break this thread.

banned for wanting to snap the thread

Banned for thinking about card games when a catsastrophe is looming o'er us.

banned for not getting your shots and letting the catastrophe come about 

Banned for I took my shots [of whiskey] in the early days of Covid and feel perfectly fine.... except for a catastrophic and nagging pain in my neck caused by an entity from the internet.

banned for pulling an on the beach commentary

Banned for what you do on the beach.... when cameras and commentary are not necessary.

banned for stirring the pot and yelling at the kettle

Banned for spying in my kitchen again... and still failing to emulate my exquisite recipes.

banned for letting the kitchen go down hill in order to perfect the taste of your food

Banned for still spying into my kitchen and grabbing hold of the wrong end of the wooden spoon... now your hands are sticky and you'll need to wash them before touching your keyboard in response.

banned for thinking about complex animals

Banned for keeping non-complex earth worms as pets because they're too simple to look after and do not stress the budget to feed 'em.... just a bucket of mud is all it takes.

banned for giving me a great idea for new pets for the kiddos