banned for purple angels

Banned for animal crackers.

banned for being cracked up

banned for have you tried to toilet train a wild animal... with or without crackers to hopefully appease it?

Shoot, even domesticated animals are a challenge... try getting a cow to poo-poo in the place you want it to.

      Banned for the taming of lions and tigers was by taking out all their teeth.

Once upon a time.

banned for cheating with removal of teeth

Banned for dentistry without a license is naughty... unless you're the dentist from 'The Little Shop of Horrors'

And don't you just hate it when yours is a Union Dentist.... "One out, all out!"

Banned for some people are so scared of going to the dentist they have to knock'em out before starting. :/

Banned for assaulting dentists.

-Twi

Banned for getting the wrong end of the stick.  Luckily for you the grandkids hadn't used it to stir their mud pies... tho lord knows what else they did with it out in the cow sheds.

Banned for I've heard of a pig in a poke and a cowpoke but using the stick for wholesome goodness is brilliant.

banned for using gas

Banned for female flatulence is not your area of expertise.. tho I cannot say the same for your own use of the butt trumpet.  The fact you can play 'Old Man River' in D-Flat suggests quite a well developed organ... I just wish you didn't decide to clear your throat prior to every performance.

banned for not knowing my wife

She can C-Sharp along with me.

Banned for I do... and aren't you in for it when she receives my email showing that you publicly proclaimed she plays the toot flute.

Banned for do I hear the beginning of wind instrument band? Do rats poof?

banned for not realizing that all animals poof

She would send one back with an audio recording of our duet.

Banned for I listened to that recording and felt you were badly out of tune that night... forget to clear your throat, eh?

banned for not realizing that I had a bad case of the runs that day

Banned for mixing up your chocolates the night before.  Now remember, those little chocky bars in the bathroom cabinet are NOT for regular consumption.  By all means hand them out freely when the mother-in-law's over for a visit, but please, do not be greedy and eat them all yourself next time.

banned because my mother in law is dead

 My condolences to you and your family. May she rest in peace.             

Chocolate is a major food group.

banned for calling chocolate a major

Banned for bringing up the military at a time when we're promoting peace and good will

Banned for promoting peace.

-Twi