Banned for being bow-legged because you were in the saddle so long... an' jumpin' Jehosaphat, don't that liniment burn when yer puts on yer butt.... er, saddle sores.

Ooooo- eeeeee!!!!

Banned for not using K-Y instead.

Banned for fried chicken.

Banned cuz that's for supper tonight. 

Banned for......oh forget it, I'm too tired to think of anything. Come on immune system, I've been sick for a month. Why won't you get rid of whatever is making everyone sick. Oh, here comes the coughing...........

banned for being sick and not having a build up immune system form sitting up on a computer all day in a filthy room that has needed to be cleaned in 5 years like most computer geeks.

Banned for not just irradiating things.

banned for I am drunk in public

Banned for not stating whether you INTENDED to be drunk in public.

-Twi /)

Banned for wanting a statement of intent from a drunk person... who by now is well past reasoned response.

Banned for not getting the reference.

-Twi /)

Banned for lack of alcohol.

banned for now I am lacking

Banned for a good shellacking.

Banned for shell shock.

Banned for saying something shocking.

Banned because I've only been in this house for three years.

Well banned for moving into a dusty house, then.

banned for not moving

Banned because this house is only 20 years old and quite tidy (except for my bedroom).

Banned for being typically untidy... or in laymans terms... banned for being slob in the bedroom.

Won't impress the ladies that way, Sunshine. 

banned for wanting to impress the ladies

Banned for thinking the ladies are impressed.

Banned for confusing impressed and oppressed.

Banned for not being confused! lol

Banned because now you're just confusing me.